Time keeps on ticking...

Ahhh, the ever-present biological clock!  Mother Nature keeps time like no other.  You can lollygag about life if you want to, but you may end up on the short end of the stick!

That's where I am, friends.  On the short-end of the stick.  All reports point to our having a very narrow window to get knocked up.  Even then, we're gonna need "assistance".  My long battle with the broids has left my uterus a bit, shall we say, bumpy?  Actually, the fert specialist said it was "distorted".  He confirmed that the mass on my left fallop tube was not a fibroid...it was 4 fibroids.  Awesome.

While last year's UFE took care of my symptoms, the broids have not completely disappeared.  So to decrease my chances of a miscarriage, he has steered us towards a top-notch uterine surgeon in hopes of smoothing out the landing strip.

Yay!  Another surgery :) 

I shouldn't say that.  There's no pity party over here.  Seriously.  I've had so many that it really isn't a big deal anymore.  Sad, but true.  Plus, it'll totally be worth it ifWHEN our prayers are answered.

From what I've learned so far, this is all a numbers game.  How old are ya?  How many eggs do you have?  How many good eggs do you have?  How many other chicks like you wound up preggers?  So after the surgery, we'll be sipping on an "ovulation stimulating" cocktail.  And the odds say that if this is gonna work for us, the magic will happen in one or two cycles.

I should have dubbed this the "Amazing Race"!

Lady Hawk

Let's play a little catch-up

The other day, Donnica sent me a link to a Life.Love&Marriage blog post on fibroids. After reading Faith's post, I left the following comment.

I have battled fibroids for 10+ years.  More than a dozen of the boogers have pitched a tent in my uterus.  I'm sure you know by now that the qty of the invaders doesn't really matter.  What matters is their individual/collective sizes and positioning.  Have one sit on your bladder or bowels and the pain can drop you to your knees.  But have an innocuous one in your uterine wall and you may never know it's even there.  With that, some women are fortunate enough to have broids and never experience a single side effect - either during their cycles or pregnancies.  My broids were such pests that I dubbed myself the modern day "woman at the well".  They triggered monthly cycles that ran every 3 weeks & came along with the heavy sloughing, cramps etc.  I've had more accidents, mostly really public, and missed more days of work, more celebrations, more outings, etc. than I care to recount.  The excessive blood loss also meant that I had to get regular iron infusions to deal with the chronic anemia.  I've had two myomectomies and one really scary ER visit in 07 that brought me within days of an emergency hysterectomy.  I literally couldn't walk for 2 weeks: my broids were so swollen and so painful that my abdomen completely spazzed out on me.  I thought my pelvis was gonna split in two.  Fortunately, I had some serious prayer warriors on my side and was blessed with a reprieve.  For about 2 years, my cycles were normal, at least for me, and the pain was gone.  But then they flared up again last year...engaged but childless, I began reviewing my options.  Another myomectomy likely would not have given me long term relief. Wanting to try for kids, a hysterectomy was out of the question and an ablation was just as bad that.  Lastly, the magnetic resonance was too unproven to consider (plus, it wasn’t covered by insurance).  Luckily, I knew of uterine fibroid emobilization (UFE) and Dr. John Lipman, http://www.atlii.com/index.cfm.  I'd considered it off and on for years but never pulled the trigger.

Thankfully, I got my life back on September 29th, 2011.  A few well-placed micro particles starved off the monsters in my belly :).  My periods returned to a normal 28 day cycle with NO pain, NO sloughing and NO excessive flows.  Even better, I haven't needed an iron transfusion since before the surgery.  My energy and overall health went through the roof!  My DEEPEST regret was that I did not pursue the UFE when I first heard of it, probably in 06 --- I hesitated time and time again.  I urge you to visit the site and consider this option.  You don’t have to go through the crap that broids bring. They can seriously TAKE. OVER. YOUR. LIFE.  The babies will come but you need to be able to enjoy your life and your new marriage.

Writing that seemed like the perfect intro to bring our readers up to speed on what I like to call "Da Quest".  Da Quest is quite simply Team Hawkins' plan/hopes/dream/faith-driven quest to build a family.  As this journey will be my top priority over the coming months, I've decided that I'm going to share the experience here.  I'm hoping doing so will help me cope with the physical, mental, emotional and hormonal roller coaster that I'm about to jump on (I was a complete wreck 2 weeks ago but more on that later).  I'm hoping that sharing will help me sort out my feelings and fears.  I'm also likely to VENT about the countless people who bombard me with the "when are you getting pregnant?!?" questionsDEMANDS...sheesh.

Please know that I have absolute faith that God's good and perfect will for our lives and our family will prevail in this situation.  But I'd be lying to you if I didn't admit that worry sometimes consumes me.  When it does, I've found that prayer and submission has been my sole comfort.  I've accepted that this situation is in God's hands and totally beyond my control.  So I hope you don't mind hearing about this from time to time.  I promise not to get too sappy! :)

Lady Hawk